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   MANOUSH - APNEA

APNEA
Do I believe in god?
Oh yes I do.
I met him several times,
when I stopped breathing
and my heart stopped beating
during a sleep apnea.
Of course I know that normally
you stop breathing for a couple of seconds
but your heart doesn't stop
during a sleep apnea
but I tend to overdramatize things in life
so yes I stopped breathing
and my heart stopped beating
several times 
when I had this sleep apnea
and that's where I met god
and we had nothing to say to each other
I met others too
I met Kennedy
John F. Kennedy
He said he saw it coming
literally saw it coming
well one of them
right before it hit him
He says Jackie saw it too
but she thought it was a huge insect
because everything is huge in Texas
He said for a moment Jackie still thought
it was an insect when it hit his head
and exploded
but insects don't explode like that
not even in Texas
Oh and I met Ghandi
Mahatma Ghandi
He said the world is a shithole
now more than ever
and that I was not very smart
to start breathing again
but I kept telling him
"What can I do"
My heart starts beating again
so I might as well start breathing again
He said that's a pity then and that it must be karma 
so we just left it at that
So when I wake up
I'd met god, and Kennedy and Ghandi
when I stopped breathing
and my heart stopped beating
during a sleep apnea
I wasn't dreaming 
I don't dream much
Martin Luther King said
"I have a dream"
but not anymore
He says he doesn't dream anymore
he said that he doesn't have dreams anymore at all
He says they shot all his dreams to pieces
down in Memphis Tennessee, April 4th 1968
so there aren't any left
I told him I don't have any dreams left either
because of all the barbiturates 
and the benzodiapzepines that I take
cos I can't sleep
and Martin Luther King said
that all these benzodiazepines
and barbiturates are most likely the reason
why I stop breathing
and why my heart stops beating in my sleep
but I told him
It's not that
it's a sleep apnea
I met Martin Luther King
just like I met God, and Kennedy
and Ghandi
when I stopped breathing
and my heart stopped beating

photo by Rita Fichtl-Spionjak